were sitting in church through a particularly long sermon. One turned to the other and said, "We've been sitting here so long my bum's gone to sleep." The other replied, "Yes I know! I've heard it snore 3 times already!"

hahahahahahahahahaha the..... was(hahahahah)....rofl...right going to the.....hahahahaha

Two blondes were walking down the street when they walked into a building. . . . . .
. . . Wouldn't you think ONE of them would have seen it?

*** Late breaking news ***
Police reported today that a man was killed while putting on his shoes!
Apparently he was gored by his shoe horn.

hey members you know when something really dasjkbsjvd happen to you? you just feel like a szbiNVSOIsd am i right?

Man comes late night home and is very tired.
Man:"Wife make me something to eat!!!"
Wife:"What is the magic word???"
Man:"And make it fast!!!"

-Why is Elephant in the top of apple tree and his balls are red?
Because he wanted to hide himself in top of apple tree.

-But why is Tarzan dead?
He went to take apples.

Life is a disease what spreads with sex and always ends with death!

It's hot summer, ninety degrees. A rabbit sits under the shadow of a tree and sharpens a stick with a knife.
A wolf passes by.
- Rabbit, what are you doing?
- I am sharpening this stick in order to kill a bear.
- ???
A vixen passes by.
- Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing?
- I am sharpening this stick in order to kill a bear.
- ???
The bear passes by.
- Rabbit, rabbit, what are you

A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him: "dad why do you keep on telling everyone that your dying of AIDS?" He replied "So that when I die no one will f**k your mom."

Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.

After the party - Mom, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on.

Do you believe in love at first