Two women were playing golf. one teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

‘Please allow me to help I’m a

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me
the bill."

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for
$57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out
into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the

walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his cupped hand.
The Scotsman shouts " Awa ya gowk yon's foo O' coos skitter "
(Translation - Don't drink the water you fool it's full of cow shxx.)

The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".

The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in"

I walked into a Subway with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free".

"They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free".

She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They walk among us and many work

Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy said "What?" "I'll shave the main on my horse." Let's do it!” So the cowboy shaves the main on his horse. But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are having a really hard time telling them apart. Then the one cowboy said, "I've

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry, and was not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and

Reaper2 has created a new joke site with "Yo Moma" jokes.

http://www.strategyinformer.com/camp/yo-momma-jokes

Check it out ... add your own if you know some!
Cheers DL

The local news station was interviewing an 80 year-old lady because she had just re-married -- for the fourth time!

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.

Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."

"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.