|DeeEll||Nov 4, 2007|
|Mindrax||Aug 13, 2010|
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other
A man was in the local shopping centre carpark and he noticed that another man had locked his keys in his car.
He approached the distressed man and asked if he would like help getting his keys out of his car. The answer was yes, so the man walked up to the car and rubbed his pant legs against the driver's door. Up popped the lock.
The other man was amazed and asked how he did
Two women were playing golf. one teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
‘Please allow me to help I’m a
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for
$57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out
into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the
walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his cupped hand.
The Scotsman shouts " Awa ya gowk yon's foo O' coos skitter "
(Translation - Don't drink the water you fool it's full of cow shxx.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in"
I walked into a Subway with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free".
"They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free".
She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
They walk among us and many work
Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy said "What?" "I'll shave the main on my horse." Let's do it!” So the cowboy shaves the main on his horse. But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are having a really hard time telling them apart. Then the one cowboy said, "I've
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry, and was not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and
Reaper2 has created a new joke site with "Yo Moma" jokes.
Check it out ... add your own if you know some!
The local news station was interviewing an 80 year-old lady because she had just re-married -- for the fourth time!
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind