|DeeEll||Nov 4, 2007|
|Mindrax||Aug 13, 2010|
Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor.
In ancient Greece (469-399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. one day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer.
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on so he called one of his angels and sent the angel to earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."
So God called
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the
Three blokes walking down the street ...
Two of them walked into a bar ...
The third ducked!
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we
Calories Burned During Sex:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.....................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485
"OLD" IS WHEN - - - Your sweetie say' "Let's go upstairs and make love, and your answer, "Pick one: I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN - - - your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and your barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN - - - A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN - - - Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.