Superman Returns: The Videogame (PS2)
- Publisher:
- EA Games
- Developer:
- EA Tiburon
- Release Date:
- 20.11.2006
- Number of players:
- n/a
- Type:
- Action
- Reality Factor:
- Science Fiction
- Perspective:
- Third-Person
- Blood Level:
- Low Blood
- Age:
- Modern Times
We play Superman Returns: The Videogame...
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s utterly abysmal. Well, that’s certainly set my tone for the rest of this review – Superman Returns is a very bad game. Don’t get me wrong; this is the best Superman game ever made, however, when in the company of some of the worst games to ever see the light of day – including the very real contender for that title in the almost legendary Superman 64 – that’s not really something to be proud of.
Wait – I hear you say. Surely a sandbox-style Superman game must be at least half decent? The Spider-Man one a year or so back was excellent, putting you in right into the thick of things in the average day of your friendly neighbourhood superhero. I mean, just imagine this for a second – soaring across the skies above Metropolis, saving people from disasters and other perilous situations and occasionally following along with a classic comic storyline, visiting The Daily Planet as Clark Kent, boffing Lois Lane and then becoming the man of steel and thwarting Lex Luthor’s nefarious schemes. Throw in a load of superpowers into the mix and it is hard to see where Superman Returns would fail, isn’t it?
Where do I start? The beginning seems like a good place. I mean, what do you think when you are confronted with a title screen that suffers from slowdown? You’d probably start thinking “Man, this isn’t going to be very good” – and you’d be right – but I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. I can’t think of a single title to date where the title screen has ruined my enjoyment of the game.
So, I press start (to play, predictably) and after a cutscene showing Clark Kent “become” Superman, I’m thrust straight into the obligatory tutorial stage. Now, I know this game was originally a 360 title and this is clearly a port – but this game is ugly. Not early PS2 ugly, but hit-by-the-ugly-stick-low-res-textures-and-a-dull-colour-pallette ugly. Still, I owned a Sega Saturn and Wipeout 2097, so I’ve never been one to let graphical issues get between me and decent game.
After being taught the basics of “being Superman” – which consists of putting out fires with your icy breath, using heat vision to destroy meteors and a quick jaunt to the War World to teach you the fundamentals of melee combat – you are dumped back into Metropolis ready for the game proper to begin.
And that is it.
This game is absolutely paper thin. You fly around the city, whilst random groups of enemies spawn all over the place. You learn what power you need to use to defeat each one of them and move on to the next group. Occasionally, you’ll fight one of Superman’s rich rogue gallery; who can all be dispatched in much the same way as most other enemies. There’s no real reason for them appearing – the main plot centres around Luthor trying to create a continent made out of kryptonite (and no, I’m not making this up) other than to squeeze another legendary villain into the game.
All of this fighting is broken up by using icy breath to put out fires and carrying injured people to ambulances. Sure, you can pick up fire trucks and water towers and use them to extinguish the blazes, but that takes time. Why bother, when simply blowing them out will take ten seconds?
Perhaps it is his super-speed, but the camera has a hard job keeping up with the action most of the time, leading to some frustrating situations in combat. Don’t worry though, as the aforementioned pathetic enemies don’t put up much of a fight.
Think that is as bad as it gets? It’s absolutely nothing when compared to the utterly shocking use of the Superman license. In the comics, the city is a bustling metropolis (if you’d pardon the pun) full of interesting characters and locations. Fly down to street level and you’ll discover that this interpretation of the city is one that only features random civilians and enemies. You can’t enter any of the buildings – not even Superman’s alter-ego Clark Kent’s workplace; The Daily Planet. Hell, you can’t even BE Clark Kent.
Okay, there are some positives. All of the movie cast appear in their appropriate roles – including Kevin Spacey, who puts on a decent performance as Lex Luthor. The scale of the city, despite essentially being a ghost town, is impressive and above all else, flying between the skyscrapers, zooming right up into the air and blasting across the skies at super-speed is as satisfying as swinging around Manhattan in Spider-Man 2, if not even more so. Getting around the fact that it’s pretty hard to kill Superman is done with the clever idea of Metropolis representing his health – let the city take to much damage and it is game over – but it is nowhere near enough to salvage this train-wreck of a game.
Even Superman would probably just ignore this accident, whistling his own theme as he flies on by and tries not to make eye-contact with anyone. Gamers looking for a superhero fix will find much better elsewhere whilst Superman fans, ask yourself this – do you really want to play a game featuring your favourite hero that is such a poor use of the license you don’t even rescue Lois Lane ONCE? The infamous curse of Superman lives on in videogames.
Top Game Moment: Flying around Metropolis at supersonic speeds. At least they got this right.
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| Search 'n' destroy |
I'll get you big guy |
Wait – I hear you say. Surely a sandbox-style Superman game must be at least half decent? The Spider-Man one a year or so back was excellent, putting you in right into the thick of things in the average day of your friendly neighbourhood superhero. I mean, just imagine this for a second – soaring across the skies above Metropolis, saving people from disasters and other perilous situations and occasionally following along with a classic comic storyline, visiting The Daily Planet as Clark Kent, boffing Lois Lane and then becoming the man of steel and thwarting Lex Luthor’s nefarious schemes. Throw in a load of superpowers into the mix and it is hard to see where Superman Returns would fail, isn’t it?
Where do I start? The beginning seems like a good place. I mean, what do you think when you are confronted with a title screen that suffers from slowdown? You’d probably start thinking “Man, this isn’t going to be very good” – and you’d be right – but I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. I can’t think of a single title to date where the title screen has ruined my enjoyment of the game.
So, I press start (to play, predictably) and after a cutscene showing Clark Kent “become” Superman, I’m thrust straight into the obligatory tutorial stage. Now, I know this game was originally a 360 title and this is clearly a port – but this game is ugly. Not early PS2 ugly, but hit-by-the-ugly-stick-low-res-textures-and-a-dull-colour-pallette ugly. Still, I owned a Sega Saturn and Wipeout 2097, so I’ve never been one to let graphical issues get between me and decent game.
After being taught the basics of “being Superman” – which consists of putting out fires with your icy breath, using heat vision to destroy meteors and a quick jaunt to the War World to teach you the fundamentals of melee combat – you are dumped back into Metropolis ready for the game proper to begin.
And that is it.
 |
 |
|
| Fight back if you can, uglyface! |
Let me take some rest and just enjoy the view |
This game is absolutely paper thin. You fly around the city, whilst random groups of enemies spawn all over the place. You learn what power you need to use to defeat each one of them and move on to the next group. Occasionally, you’ll fight one of Superman’s rich rogue gallery; who can all be dispatched in much the same way as most other enemies. There’s no real reason for them appearing – the main plot centres around Luthor trying to create a continent made out of kryptonite (and no, I’m not making this up) other than to squeeze another legendary villain into the game.
All of this fighting is broken up by using icy breath to put out fires and carrying injured people to ambulances. Sure, you can pick up fire trucks and water towers and use them to extinguish the blazes, but that takes time. Why bother, when simply blowing them out will take ten seconds?
Perhaps it is his super-speed, but the camera has a hard job keeping up with the action most of the time, leading to some frustrating situations in combat. Don’t worry though, as the aforementioned pathetic enemies don’t put up much of a fight.
Think that is as bad as it gets? It’s absolutely nothing when compared to the utterly shocking use of the Superman license. In the comics, the city is a bustling metropolis (if you’d pardon the pun) full of interesting characters and locations. Fly down to street level and you’ll discover that this interpretation of the city is one that only features random civilians and enemies. You can’t enter any of the buildings – not even Superman’s alter-ego Clark Kent’s workplace; The Daily Planet. Hell, you can’t even BE Clark Kent.
Okay, there are some positives. All of the movie cast appear in their appropriate roles – including Kevin Spacey, who puts on a decent performance as Lex Luthor. The scale of the city, despite essentially being a ghost town, is impressive and above all else, flying between the skyscrapers, zooming right up into the air and blasting across the skies at super-speed is as satisfying as swinging around Manhattan in Spider-Man 2, if not even more so. Getting around the fact that it’s pretty hard to kill Superman is done with the clever idea of Metropolis representing his health – let the city take to much damage and it is game over – but it is nowhere near enough to salvage this train-wreck of a game.
 |
 |
|
| An interesting flying object |
On my way to new quests at supersonic speeds |
Even Superman would probably just ignore this accident, whistling his own theme as he flies on by and tries not to make eye-contact with anyone. Gamers looking for a superhero fix will find much better elsewhere whilst Superman fans, ask yourself this – do you really want to play a game featuring your favourite hero that is such a poor use of the license you don’t even rescue Lois Lane ONCE? The infamous curse of Superman lives on in videogames.
Top Game Moment: Flying around Metropolis at supersonic speeds. At least they got this right.
