My body may be 22 years old, but my brain’s age is more than double that. This scientific conclusion comes courtesy of an overly smiley doctor and his blob-like sidekick. For the record, the exact figure is 54 which means I’d better get a refund on that English Literature degree. All this grief comes courtesy of Dr Kawashima’s Body and Brain Exercises, the latest arm-flailer to grace Microsoft’s future of gaming, Kinect.

Let’s think about this for a second. If this is indeed what the future holds, sign me up. Instead of studying G.C.S.E Maths with a dull exam paper, we’ll be standing in virtual test rooms, running around as quickly as possible, solving tricky addition and subtraction with the power of our arms. Childhood mathematical inadequacy and obesity solved in one – how’s that for forward thinking.

Find four people to play with? Unlikely

However a bit of context is in order - world famous Kawashima made his debut on the Nintendo DS when the handheld first launched and Brain Training utilised the DS’s touch screen to drip feed daily mental workouts to the masses. The reward? Supposed increases in mental cognition and the thought that brain cancer was being halted with the power of mental exercise. How very noble.

This new Xbox 360 version attempts to do exactly the same thing. By whipping your thinking organ into shape, it’ll hopefully protect you against the relentless onslaught of mental depreciation.  It doesn’t matter what age you are, there’s fun for all the family here.

Or at least that’s the theory. After assigning a near-death age to you, it’s up to you to return every day to partake in an assortment of mini-game challenges for the betterment of your brain. Whether mental exercise can actually be considered fun is another matter but you get the idea.

There’s also the added interactivity that Kinect brings. With the handheld version it was a case of sitting down to make your brain into a powerhouse as (ironically) the rest of your body slowly depreciated from inactivity. Body and Brain Exercises looks to alleviate theses issues by keeping you on your feet.

Shapetastic

It’s simple stuff and perfect for all those that feel guilty with the latest FPS rotting their brains. The aim is simple - the more you practice, the younger your brain becomes.

One of the key issues with this is in reality; it’s not a matter of reducing the ‘age’ of your brain. It is more the case of tapping into our ape-like instincts of ‘if I repeat this action over and over, I’ll become a master at it.’ Peel enough bananas and you’ll have a mental age of 15 rather than 75. This can mean memorising poses before mimicking them back to the camera or quickly selecting from a group of numbers which add up to ten.

As you begin the exercises are fairly sedate and beginner level offer exactly what they say on the tin. Keen not to put off any casual players, Kawashima gently eases you into his program. Helpful tutorials explain each minigame’s aim and at the end a score and rank is assigned. Charts appear and you’re shown what effect the game’s had on your overall brain’s age. It’s all presented in the family-friendly fashion you’d expect – bright colours, morale boosting sounds and words of encouragement if you’ve not done as well as you’d expect.

However, and here’s the crux, Body and Brain struggles with the Kinect functionality and when you’re taking exercises that require as quick a response as possible, having the game misinterpreting your movements can be hugely frustrating. Most of the exercises are measured by your reflexes and rightfully so. If you’re testing someone on their mental agility – the faster the better.

Having a device that often confuses itself is therefore counterproductive. Often you’ll be waving your arms and Kinect will be either sluggish in picking up your movement or get it wrong entirely. The choice of answers can be situated fairly close to each other and as a result it’s easy to select the wrong one. This results in you being penalised by no fault of your own which can rile even the most patient of players.

Pacman like you’ve never known it

The longevity of the game is also an issue – the exercises, even with their eventual difficulty increase, are very similar and even when you’re sharing the fun with your family in the group mode, you’ll struggle to find the motivation to return every day. Of course, the fact you’re constantly being given feedback is there to lure you back, but the actual substance of the game is fairly lacking.

It’s easy to see what the aim of Body and Brain was, but on a platform like Kinect it has to offer flawless recognition when you’re submitting your answers, otherwise it completely defeats the point. You’ll find it difficult to return day after day, no matter how fast your brain’s age decreases as a reward. It’s a pretty bog standard first attempt and sadly confirms many fears of what Kinect will become.

Top Gaming Moment: Decreasing your brain’s age.